Before I was a country singer, I played bass in a band called Ardentjohn. I still do actually, but we don't tend to play much these days.
Back in March 2006, we spent 4 weeks playing a residency in a nightclub in Breuill-Cervinia, an Italian ski resort right on the Swiss border. It was a tough slog. Good times, but 40 gigs in 30 days is a lot for anyone, so when the opportunity for time off came, we generally made the most of it.
Every Wednesday was a 'theme night' at the club, and on our second week there, they hosted a 'ladies night', complete with male strippers. This meant that no guys, including us, were allowed in before midnight, so we got the night off. Hurrah!
I can't remember what the rest of the band did that night, because my chosen course of action was to go to the bar in the hotel next door, get absolutely trashed on dubiously measured vodka red bulls, and try to drunkenly chat up the barmaid, who we will call Nikki. Because that might have been her name.
When Nikki finished her shift, we walked down the mountain into town. Well, she walked anyway. She told me the next day that I spent most of the journey falling over and sliding down the hill on my arse because I couldn't actually stand. We made it to the club, where I immediately abandoned her and attempted to walk back up the mountain to my apartment. It was roughly 1am, and I was completely alone and incapable in sub-zero temperatures and 6 feet of snow. At one point I fell over into the deeper stuff, and initially thought "Ahh, I will just sleep here and go back in the morning". Luckily I realised that I would DEFINITELY DIE if I did that, so I got up and headed home. It must have taken me ages.
When I got back to the apartment, the rest of the band were in bed, so I got into bed but it must have been broken or something because room started to spin. Just then my bandmate Mark got up to go to the toilet. As luck would have it, just as he closed the door I started to feel a wee bit sick...
Thankfully Mark had not locked the door. I barged in, and as I lunged towards the toilet pan, I tried to push Mark out of the way. I failed. I can still hear his words: "EEURGH! AL, YOU JUST GOT SICK ON MY C**K!!!"
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